THREE YEARS OLD

Dear Zachary,

On Tuesday, the day before your 3rd birthday, mommy and daddy had a parent teacher conference in your classroom. I continue to be amazed by how you grow and change. Your teachers and friends love you. They want to be with you and work with you and play with you. They appreciate your warmth, your humor and your intelligence.

When mommy and daddy first sat down at the tiny nursery school sized table, the first thing your teachers commented on was how bright you are.  You are learning so many new skills daily, both school skills, like reading and math, but also interpersonal skills, like listening, working with others, and waiting for your turn. Sometimes that last one is a bit hard, especially when your friends make a mistake and you want to correct them.

You know all the letter names and sounds  and try to spell every word you come across, especially the names of your friends and teachers. You know all the numbers and, can put them in order (1-9 or 9-1) when asked. You are starting to write letters and numbers. You can paint simple pictures, like pumpkins and rainbows. You can put together puzzles up to 40 pcs independently, and you will ask for help when there are more pieces than you can handle.

Your teachers are most struck with your comprehension of both stories and oral instructions. You are able to hear a book read to you and you can recall most of what you heard. The teacher will explain an instruction and you will understand it and follow through the first time. Your teacher will show you how to complete a new work in the class, and you will dive right in and master it.

Because of the mixed-age nature of your class, some works are geared more towards the older kids in the class, the 4's, and not really for you. But you chose those activities anyway. Usually the difference between the activities for 3's and 4's is in how long the work will take to complete. You tend to chose the work that requires time and patience and maybe a friend to work with you. We are all impressed by your ability to sustain focus.

You think you are one of the teachers in your classroom. You enjoy sitting in Mariel's chair and running circle time. You like to chose the songs, and call on your friends to join in.
You greet everyone by name, and when you don't know who someone is, you will ask them who they are and introduce yourself. When someone walks into your classroom, you will get up from your activity and greet them at the door.

You are the best version of yourself at school. It seems as if everything you struggle to do at home, sitting at the table during meal times, cleaning up your toys, stopping what you are doing to use the bathroom - none of this happens at school. This is both frustrating and a relief to know. While I'm grateful you know how to sit for the duration of a meal, clean up your toys when you are done, and get up to use the bathroom when you need to pee, I'm frustrated that these things are such a battle at home. We will continue to work with you on all of this when you are home, now that we know you know how to do it.

Tomorrow we are celebrating your birthday with a party. So many of your friends will be there, I think you are really going to love it.

I am so proud of you, my big birthday boy.

Happy 3rd birthday.

Love,
Mommy

two years, 364 days.

Dear Zachary, 

In addition to my letter, which I will write tomorrow, for your third birthday I wanted to make a list of everything you've learned how to do in the past year. 

1. Get dressed on your own. Socks are still a bit tricky, and you don't know how to tie your shoes, yet. But, you can put on underwear, pants, shirts, sweatshirts, hats and jackets with little to no help from mommy and daddy. 

2. Go to the bathroom when you need to. 

3. Sound out short words. 

4. Spell your name and attempt to spell (with quite a bit of accuracy!) names of other people and some words. 

5. Write a few letters, including Z, A and C!

6. Do mazes and connect the dots up to 20.

7. Count to 60! (Tho you regularly skip "16")

8. Count backwards from 10.

9. Verbalize your daily routine, in sequence. 

10. Make yourself and other laugh. 

11. Sing entire songs in both English and Hebrew. 

12. Pour a cup of water. 

I'm sure there are more...

I love watching you grow and develop new skills!

So much love,

Mommy

two years, eleven months, one week

Dear Zachary,

I'm sorry for the huge delay since my last letter. It's been very busy around here as we were both starting a new school year.

I am happy to report that you are loving your new classroom and all of your new friends. Mommy and Daddy were a little nervous about the move from Toddler room to Early Childhood, as you are on the younger end of your peer group. But, you have adjusted wonderfully to the new routines in the Red room and look forward to going to school each day. Coming home isn't so easy, but it just reinforces for us how much you love school. I hope this continues for at least the next 15 years.

A couple weeks ago you came home from school stating, "I don't like crying Kai!" This, I'm sure you understand, worried me. I wondered why you didn't like a member of your class, since you've always referred to everyone as your 'friend' and stated how you love them. I wondered how I would teach an almost 3 year old compassion.

I asked, "Why don't you like crying Kai?"
"Because he cries a lot!"
"Why is he crying?"
"Because he wants something!"
"What does he want?"
"He wants his mommy!"

I couldn't believe that my loving little boy was annoyed with another child, a 3 year old, for missing his mommy. I worried that I would need to work harder to teach you compassion. I worried that I was failing at teaching you this important skill. 

Thank god I was wrong. Your "dislike" of "crying Kai" wasn't exactly a dislike of him. Rather, a discomfort with his upset. Seeing him upset and crying so often made you upset, too. We talked to your teachers and talked to you about how Kai needs a friend at school and different things you could do make Kai smile and not cry. The next day you went to school and colored with Kai. You read with him, worked with him and at lunch, though we hadn't talked about it, you sat next to him. 

We haven't heard you complain about crying Kai since. 

I'm so proud of you, my compassionate little man.

Much love, 

Mommy

two years, nine months, two weeks

Dear Zachary,

Sometime when I overhear you reprimanding your toys, I think, I'm not doing this parenting thing so well. You will be yelling at Elmo, telling him to get back in bed, that it's not time to talk.

And other times, I overhear you approach Elmo with gentleness. You wrap him in your favorite giraffe blanket and hold him in your arms, saying "sh, Elmo, it's ok. I'm here, I'm here. I'm right here with you Elmo. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Elmo."

And I know we're all going to be ok.

I love you, my sweet boy,

Mommy.

two years, nine months

Happy three-quarter birthday!

I can feel your third birthday approaching. So many things that used to be so difficult about parenting you are getting easier. The "terrible two's" have certainly had their terrible moments, and I have certainly have had my terrible moments, too. 

What I'm most happy about is that you are starting to listen more and more to what mommy and daddy are telling you. You rarely fight to get in your stroller when you need to be in your stroller (running late, crowded areas, too far for you to walk), you don't hesitate often to take my hand when crossing the street, and, finally, I'm not afraid that you will run into the street because you "want to." 

You are starting to walk and not run everywhere you go - especially on the sidewalk and around the pool. I love being able to walk with you and talk about your life. I couldn't do that when I spent most of our time together chasing you. 

Until next week,

Mommy. 

two years, eight months, four weeks

Dearest Zachary,

Mommy and Daddy are really trying to model for you appropriate ways to stand up for yourself so that when you are big, you will know how to stand up for yourself and for others. We want you to know which battles to pick, and which to just let go. We want you to feel strong and use your words so that you can explain yourself and what you need and want. We want you to know how to listen to what others need and what they want and come to a compromise. We want you to feel good about yourself and your capabilities and support others as they discover and develop theirs.  These are also the reasons why we picked your school last Spring. We knew the Montessori model would help foster your independence, your problem-solving skills and your sense of community responsibility. We thought the combination of routine and structure in a child-centered atmosphere was what you would thrive in best. And we were right.  

This week mommy and daddy are struggling with a very difficult decision: whether or not to try to move you to a different classroom in the Fall. You were placed in the Red room with one of your friends from last year, but not the other two. The red room teachers, in my opinion, are under qualified, and, considering how much money we are paying for you to be in school 8.5 hrs a day, we are fairly disappointed that your school would hire this person to teach you - or any other child. When I think to myself about this, I wonder if I'm being too picky, if I'm being the parent that constantly says "you're not good enough for my child". As a teacher, I really dispose these parents. They create issues where there are none, they are overly dramatic when there is no need.  I don't think I'm creating an issue here. We pay too much money to have someone teach you all day that A. doesn't have a degree, and B. does not seem to relate well to small children. And I don't think I'm being dramatic. Well, not yet at least.  While I know you will be just fine in any classroom, I am not comfortable putting you in a room with this particular "teacher" all day every day. And while I would love for you to be in a smaller classroom, as the Red room seems to be, I much prefer you being with your friends.

I love you too much to let you see mommy and daddy settle for anything short of what's best for you. It's all going to be ok. 

I love you,

Mommy

Stuttering

When you are totally exhausted, you develop a stutter. Sometimes the stutter is so heavy that you mix up consonants in words. Tonight's stutter consonant mix up was by far my favorite thus far. 

While talking about the toys you would get to see and play with during our upcoming trip to the pediatrician's office, you said, 

"And I c-c-c-can to s-s-s-s-sit on the big tr-tr-tr-trire fuck!"

Oh, how I love listening to you (try to) speak. 

two years, eight months, three weeks

Dear Zachary,

Tonight was the 5th night in a row that we put you in your big boy bed for the night and, for the most part, you stayed in your bed until you finally fell asleep. I am so proud of you. I know we've changed your sleeping arrangements a lot over the past month between taking off the side of the crib, to going on vacation and having you sleep on an air- mattress in two different houses over the course of 10 days. And although I've done my share of complaining and experienced my own anxieties about you being done with the crib, it looks as if, at this exact moment, that you are settling into this new routine. Finally.

Sleep tight, my little man. I know you'll be running into my room at some point in the middle of the night, asking to "sleep in mommy daddy's bed". And mommy and/or daddy will have to walk you back to your big boy bed...

I love you, even though you completely exhaust me most days.

Love,
Mommy.

two years, eight months, two weeks

Dear Zachary,

Before I start this week's letter, I just want to acknowledge that Mommy seems to be having a hard time writing you these letters weekly recently. For that much, I'm sorry. You see, we've been very busy spending our days together, and I'd rather spend my time playing with you (despite your resistance to take naps) than writing my blog. 

I wanted to document for you some of the random things you've been saying lately. Maybe next week (or hopefully later this week), I'll write more about our recent vacation and your first trip to Sea World. But for now, here are some quotes and bit of conversations from the past few weeks which have brought me smiles and laughter. 

1. "Old McDonald had a farm E I E I O. And on that farm he had a dog...B I N G O!"

2. You: bye bye mommy, I'm going now!

Me: where are you going?

You: I'm going to Sesame Street. I see you later!

3. While sitting  on the airplane to CA, you: we're going on an airplane next week!

Me: no Zac, we're on an airplane right now. 

4. While listening to a youth jazz ensemble in Santa Monica "when my big, I will do that, mommy!"

5. Upon arriving at grandma's house in San Diego, "where are the camels?" (We've been talking about the San Diego zoo a lot...

6. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,15,17,18,19,18...(me: 20), 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39...30-10!

7. Me: Zac, we're on the freeway. You: where's the four-way?? Me: no Zac, it's not a THREE-way...

8. At 5:30am, you: "what should I do now?" Me: "put your head down and go back to sleep."

9. After throwing hard objects at my face, "Mommy, I want you to be angry!"

10. "I'm not taking a nap, I'm taking a bedtime!"

11. "The weasels on the bus go round and round"

12. "I want to listen to possible music"

13. "You made him a steak in the elevator"

14. "These keys are for shalom bayit, but I don't need to use them because somebody's already here."

And the most shocking and least favorite, 

15. "You need to buy me a little iPad."

Looking forward to hearing what will come out of your mouth next!

Love, mommy. 

"What my hair?"

It's a lot of fun to listen to you talk, especially when I have no idea what you're saying (which is really only a small percentage of the time). For the most part, your speech is pretty clear and people who don't speak 2 year old can understand you fairly easily. Other times, it takes me a few tries to decipher your language. You are generally pretty patient with me and will repeat yourself several times until I get it. 

For a few months, you've been saying "bacanuum" to refer to the vacuum cleaner. "I help mommy with the bacanuum today!" 

Or, most recently, and maybe my favorite so far, "what my hair??" Which translates to "what do I hear?" Or "what's that unfamiliar sound?" I have to admit, while you say this phrase quite often, I still ask you "what's wrong with your hair?!" and have to take a moment to remember you are not talking about your head. 

two years, seven months, three weeks

Dear Zachary,

Sorry for the delay. It's been pretty busy around here since the school year ended. We are into week three in your toddler bed and I. Really missing your crib. Mommy and daddy (usually daddy) has to sit with you every night until you fall asleep. Some nights, it takes 15-20 mins, other night's, it's up to an hour before you are snoozing. 

What I wanted to write to you about this week is your rapidly developing sense of humor. Sometimes the things you say totally throw us off guard and we all end up laughing hysterically. For example, this past weekend I introduced you to Mr. Potato head. We were on Skype with Bobé and grandpa and you were showing them your new toy. You said "it's not mr. Potato head! It's misterrrrrrr....banana head!" I have no idea where you came up with that, but it made us all laugh. You didnt stop there. Mr. Veggie burger head, mr. Potato kugel head, mr. Sofa head, were more of the names you came up with, among others. 

It's so much fun to watch you play and to see your creativity and fantasy develop. 

Lots of love to you, my funny man.

Love, 

Mommy

two years, seven months, 10 days

Sweetest Zachary,

I'm so sorry I'm delayed on my letters recently. It's been very busy around here. Friday was your last day of school, but Mommy still has another week to go. Next week you'll be at Tata's work for summer camp at the nursery school there. I hope you have a great time. Here are a couple of pictures of you and your teachers this year. Mommy and Daddy are so grateful for them - they have been so patient and loving. I know you will miss them so much when you begin to understand that they will not be your teachers anymore. I wish you could stay with them, but in the Fall, you will be in an Early Childhood room where you will be for 2 years until you're ready for Kindergarten. Wow. Kindergarten is just 2 short years away...

 

Love you so much, my big boy!

Love, mommy

two years, seven months

Dear Zac,

As I sit here writing this letter to you, a day late, but on the day you turn 2 years and 7 months, you are having a hard time falling asleep. Again.

Now that potty training is pretty much done (no accidents in well over a week and pooping regularly in the potty both at home and at school), we are getting ready to transition you to a big boy bed. I keep thinking, tho, that even though you are past 2 and a half, you are potty trained, you can do most things independently, you are just not ready to be out of the crib. And I don't think this is a case of mommy isn't ready for her baby to grow up. I'm actually thinking, my big boy is just not ready to sleep in a bed without sides. Guard rails, bumpers, whatever, won't do it. You need to be in a crib.

Why do I think this? Where is this gut feeling coming from? I'll tell you.

Mommy and Daddy did such an excellent job training you to sleep in your crib that you can't sleep anywhere else. Except the car. And only if it's at least an hour or two past your nap time. (But considering all the struggles lately with bed time, it's no like your crib is actually that much easier lately.)  You seem to really only resist bedtime when I'm home alone with you which is beyond frustrating (like tonight). At least on nights like these, if you throw an "I don't want to go to sleep!" tantrum, I can at least keep you in your bed.

So, I don't really know what to do about your sleeping arrangements, though I do know when we get to California for our summer vacation, there will be no crib there...

I love you, my little active man. Sweet dreams,

Mommy

two years, six months, 3 + weeks

Dear Zac,

I'm sorry I wasn't home so much today. I know after spending a 3-day weekend together, it was hard to get back into our regular routine. Bedtime was particularly difficult tonight. Not because it took you a long time to fall asleep (it didn't take too long), but because when I was tucking you in, you grabbed my hand and said "I hold your hand so you can't leave me. stay with me mommy. sleep in here with me." This totally broke my heart, as you've been doing so much lately.

At times I wish we hadn't done any sleep training and continued co-sleeping past 4 months. Now, I just want you to be snuggling with us in bed until we all fall asleep together. You haven't fallen asleep in my arms since you were about 9 months old and I miss it very much. You just wanted (and needed) to be in your own bed, and you slept much better not being able to smell me all night.

We are just about done with potty training, and I know this whole process has made you feel both more independent and more clingy.  You now take yourself to the bathroom and don't really need any help there. You even clean out the little potty after you use it.

Yesterday was an emotional potty day for us. We were out all day and you clearly needed to poop. (you said so about a dozen times) Hours of back and forth and finally I gave up and told you it was ok to wait and poop at home, which you did.

Today you were home with Daddy after school. You announced needing to poop and went by yourself to the bathroom and did. We are so proud.

The next project we'll tackle is transition to the big boy bed. We have already started the conversation and you know it's coming. And you're excited. As soon as school ends, we'll give it another shot.

Love you, pumpkin.

Mommy

"I need cough syrup"

Last week you had a pretty annoying nighttime cough. You would be coughing for 20-30 minutes non-stop in your sleep. We started giving you cough syrup during the day and within a few days,  the cough was gone. And so we stopped giving you cough syrup. 

Here's the conversation you and I had in the bathroom yesterday. 

Zac: I need cough syrup. Could I have cough syrup, please?

Me: No, you don't. 

Zac: I do. Yes, yes, I do need cough syrup. 

Me: You don't need cough syrup, Zachary. You're not coughing. 

Zac: (not missing a beat) *cough cough* I coughing now. I do need cough syrup. 

Fantastic. 

two years, six months, (almost) three weeks

Dear Zac,

I can't wait for you to stop telling me what you know you're supposed to do and actually just do it. 

When mommy says stop, I really do mean stop. It is not enough for you to just tell me that you know you should have stopped. And yes, you fell down a flight of stone stairs in Central Park last Friday because you were not listening. 

I've had days of nightmares now. Each time I watch you fall over and over again. Each time it ends worse than the day it actually happened. Though there isn't a bump, scratch or bruise on you (miracle?), in my nightmares you land at the bottom covered in blood, head to toe.  I'm sorry. I don't usually write so much about my fears about raising you, but this week's been tough. 

I worry when you'll grow out of this impulsivity. Obviously your feeling of invincibility will last several more years (someone recently joked that it could last well into your twenties! Yikes!), but at some point you will need to be aware of putting your body in real danger. 

This week was a good week in terms of taking walks and trusting you won't run away. You prepare me before each walk and say "I walk nicely. I hold Mommy's hand to cross the street. I don't run away from mommy. Or I sit in the stroller with straps." I hope you won't need too many more reminders about not running into the street. You've been very good about waiting at the corner for the light to change. I think we're ready to move on to "look both ways before crossing", though in NYC you need to walk half way into the crosswalk to see if anyone's speeding through. 

Please keep your body safe, little man. I really can't handle more scares like last Friday. 

Be safe, pumpkin. I love you like crazy. 

Love,

Mommy 

two years, six months, one week

Dear Zachary,

Sorry for all the potty-related letters lately. I promise there won't be too many more. I am just SO proud of you for all your potty accomplishments!

This week we are really working on the poop-training. To say that you are not having an easy time would be am understatement. You know when you have to poop and you know what you have to do, but when it comes to sitting on the potty and getting it done, you freak out. You would rather hold it in that have an accident and tonight, during the two hour back and forth to the potty, you told me "the poop doesn't want to come out. It needs to stay in my butt!" Finally you couldn't hold it in any longer and you did sit on the potty long enough for it to all come out.

Yesterday mommy went to your school for your spring parent-teacher conference. Your teachers love you so much and are really very happy to have you in their class. You are excelling at math and language skills. You count items accurately and can read short 3-letter words by sounding them out. You are always happy and curious and your teachers commented on your healthy attachment and that you never cry for me. You eat well, nap well, and play nicely with the other kids. You spend a good amount of time testing limits and exploring your own strength. They laughed as they explained to me how many plates and glasses you have broken... Yikes!

I hope you always love school this much and that I can keep up with you this summer!

Lots of love,
Mommy

Spring report card!

I'm a very proud mommy! Your spring report card came last night. I can't believe it's almost summer. We love your school, and your class, so much. I wish you could stay in the Turquoise room next year...

"Zachary is a very attentive child who notices the differences in his environment. When new materials are placed on the shelves, Zachary becomes intrigued and will attempt to use the work. If he is unfamiliar with the process he will ask for help. Zachary is very observant during our walks; as he notices when we are heading back to the school will state, “We are going back to school now!” or “Turn in here, the school is right there (pointing) as we cross the street.” Zachary is independent and in the process of toilet training. He is able to pull his clothing up and down without help and change his clothing with little assistance. He is able to verbalize when he needs to use the toilet and often states to a teacher, “I need to pee, okay (pointing his index finger)!” or “I’m going to pee now, in the toilet (pointing). Zachary is able to recall information that occurred in the past, “I bumped my head on the toilet at home and I have a boo-boo and I cried” and during a visit to the playground he stated, “I fall down on the ladder and was hanging and I cried.” In times of excitement in the classroom, Zachary scatters his work and when asked how we treat the materials he states, “We need to be gentle with the work because it can break, then we have to put it in the garbage and we won’t have any more work to use (pointing)”. This shows his ability to recall, process, and verbalize possible outcomes. He is very interested in letters and numbers. He knows the sounds of ten letters and is able to match objects with their beginning sounds. During an ‘All About Me’ a parent was reading a book and Zachary said, “There’s a Z for Zachary.” He can recognize all of his classmates name cards. Zachary enjoys matching numbers and quantity with minimal help. He recognizes the numbers from 1-9 but gets a little confused with number 6 and 9. Zachary has been a pleasure to work with this school year and will be missed dearly."

two years, six months!

Dear Zachary,

HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY! Today, you are officially two and half years old!

And it was a big day for you, too! I've been writing a lot recently about potty training and today you really hit a milestone: you ASKED to go to the bathroom to poop at school. You have no idea how proud I am of you. And how relieved that you figured it out. Well, today you had it figured out at least.

This past weekend we celebrated your half-birthday with a trip to Riverside Park on your new tricycle (thank you, tata!) and wearing you new tie-dye peace sign helmet. We rode (or rather, pushed you) in the park for about 20 minutes and then stopped at an ice cream stand for your first taste of ice cream, a chipwhich that you shared with daddy. The ice cream was hard and over-frozen and you only ate a little bit, but you liked it and will gladly eat more then next time we treat you to some. (probably at Ben & Jerry's next time) Daddy was disappointed that the ice cream wasn't better quality, but I assured him that you won't remember how your first ice cream tasted.

Here's a picture of you on you tricycle followed by a picture of you and your first ice cream. I'm looking forward to many more moments like these this summer!

I love you,

Mommy

two years, five months, four (ish) weeks

Dear Zac-Zac,

This will be a short letter because you are having a very difficult time falling asleep tonight and you've been calling for me on and off for over half an hour now.

I'm not sure what's been going in for you this past week, but tonight is not the first night it's taken you so long to fall asleep. Actually, a few nights ago it took you well over an hour to fall asleep. And you were up just a few hours later.

Are you getting sick?
Am I spending too little time with you?
Is potty training too rough?

I hate to hear you struggle so much, exhausted from your little day...

This week I really wanted to blog about how affectionate you've been recently, how you hug me randomly and say "I love you" without prompting. Without me saying it first. Hug you snuggle on the floor and pretend to "sleep on mommy". How you hug your teachers and your friends' parents of your own volition. How "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" are integrated completely into your vocabulary and I rarely have to remind you how to ask nicely. (Tonight, I forgot to put your fork on your table and you asked, immediately, "mommy, can I have a fork, please?" And you were sincere, not whiny.) I'd like to think mommy and daddy are modeling that behavior for you, but I know we have your school to thank for reinforcing it.

You are still not asleep, an hour and 10 minutes after I said good night the first time. You have, in the past hour, "accidentally" kicked the side of your bed and needed lotion and kisses, had cold feet and needed socks, needed a different color on your night light, and, of course, pooped. I'm hoping the latter event was what's been keeping you up tonight and you'll be fast asleep soon. I know I will be.

The weekend is coming soon and I hope we'll make up at least a little bit of this lost sleep.

Good night, sleepy head. I'll see you in the morning. I love you.

Mommy