two years, one month, four weeks

Dear Zac,

The latest word in your vocabulary is "together".

"We need to play together."

"We need to walk together"

"We need to read together"

"We need to eat dinner together", you say, and I know you mean you want mommy and daddy to not only sit with you, but eat our dinner, too.


Together. All of us.


It absolutely melts my heart.


Mommy works very hard with 11 and 12 year olds to teach them how to work and be together. I plan to share with them your definition of the word "together", which I happen to love.

When you say "together", Zachary, you don't mean "sit with me while I play" you mean "you play, too, with the same toys, on the same spot on the floor, with the same attention to the game that I have. You will find this game as important as it is for me." If mommy squats, you push me over so I am completely sitting on the ground, not halfway standing. You tell me to put my phone away. You remind me I'm with you and not anyone else.

"Together", for you, seems so simple. But for most people it is very hard. It means putting everything else aside. Putting away the computer, turning off the phone, de-prioritizing everything else, turning off the brain and all the to-do's and only doing the one thing that actually needs to get done. Spending quality time with family. "Together", for so many, means doing what someone else wants you to do. And I have to admit, often, I'm the same way. I have my own to-do lists. But when I sit on the floor with you to play cars or trains, or when you climb into my lap with a book, or when we scramble around quickly to make dinner so we can "all eat dinner together", the smile on your face reminds me that "together" is exactly what I want.

Today starts a new year. At the end of every year, we try to reflect on the past year and make resolutions for the year to come. My resolutions include lots of things for me that don't really include other people. But now, I'm adding to that list and I'm putting "together" at the top.

Thank you, Zac for teaching me what "together" means. Thank you for helping me put everything aside and just be exactly where I want to be. With you.

Happy New Year!

Mommy

"it's not MY gosh..."

You've been very focused on the word "mine" lately. Like all 2-year-olds, I think, you think everything belongs to you. We try to help you label what is and what isn't yours. The clothes you wear are yours, the food on your plate is yours, all the toys at our home are yours. Mommy's iPad is not yours, the stuff on daddy's dresser is not yours, the food on mommy and daddy's plates (unless we are sharing) is not yours.

You've pretty much got all that down and enjoy identifying things for yourself. "This is my cereal" or "my books" and "that's daddy's water" or "this is Mommy's shoes."


Sometimes, you get confused about HOW the word "my" works.

A few days ago you walked up to daddy and said "oh my gosh, daddy!"

As if that wasn't cute enough out of your 2-year-old mouth...

You looked over to me, a little confused and said.

"It's not MY gosh. It's daddy's gosh."

I absolutely love listening to you explore language.

I think it's time to potty train...

Thank you for climbing into my lap this morning to tell me you needed a new diaper.

Thank you for knowing when you've got something in there that should be cleaned up.

No thank you for sticking your hand into the dirty diaper and then smearing it all over my shirt.

two years, one month, three weeks

Dear Zac,

Yet another difficult week. Unfortunately, you are too much like your mommy and get sick during vacations. This time, you had a fever for nearly 4 days, followed by a really yucky wet cough. We canceled a lot of plans and, because it's been so cold and windy, we've kept you home. For a week. 2-years (and their mommies and daddies) go stir crazy after just a few days, and we've been home for a week.

Honestly, pumpkin, you've been a royal pain in the butt. Every other word is either "no!" or "mommy!!" I get that you haven't been feeling well. I get that your teeth hurt. I get that mommy is comforting. But, the incessant whining, crying, throwing toys, and multiple middle of the night wake-ups are getting old. And now mommy and daddy are getting sick (again), too!

Last Friday, when you were probably the sickest you've ever been, you sat on my lap for 3 hours trying to get comfortable. You couldn't decide if you wanted to sleep on my chest, sit on the couch with your feet on me, or stand on the floor with your head in my lap. You, my little boy, who is generally a constant chatterbox, or jukebox, were pretty much silent for those hours. Pretty pathetic, actually, but also so sweet. I decided to treat you to a movie on the couch. Your first full-length movie: Annie. Thank god for all that singing and dancing, and, of course, Sandy.

Today, Wednesday, was probably that first good day you've had in a week and I am very eager and excited to plan as many play dates in the next 5 days as I can. We need to get OUT!

Looking forward to that final molar (top right) cutting through and a return to more restful sleep for all.

Night night pumpkin.
See you in the morning (if not before).

Love always,
Mommy

two years, one month, two weeks

Dear Zac,

Before you were even born, I used to dream about you. Whenever I felt anxious about labor and delivery, or unsure of how I would be as a mother, I would do my best to imagine what you would be like when you were finally here.

I would dream of the day that you and I would take a walk together, without a stroller. We would be holding hands, walking side by side. On our walks, we would be singing songs and talking about our day.

You can imagine how absolutely amazing it is to watch my dreams come true.

Until just a few weeks ago, if I would start singing to you, you would listen and only occasionally chime in. Now, you sing WITH us when we sing songs you know. I love how at bed time, because you know so many songs, you can pick which songs we sing.

Some of your favorite songs are:
Edelweiss (you like to sing it, or listen to me hum)
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You Are My Sunshine (or as you call it, "butt shine")
ABC song ("ABCD")
China Man
I am Sitting Sewing ("housey")
Tick-Tock (in Hebrew)
Dubim (also in Hebrew)
Ani Motek (also in Hebrew)
5 Little Monkeys
Rock-a-bye Baby (with your own lyrics, of course!)
We are the Dinosaurs
Pig on her Head
Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes


Thank you for loving music as much as I do.

Thank you for never letting a day go by without singing with me.

So much love,
Mommy

"the mommies on the bus..."

Our bedtime routine is changing. You no longer want me to sing to you in the rocking chair. Now, you make me sit on the bed while you sit in the rocking chair and sing to me. If I try to sing with you, you tell me to stop and say, "I'm singing now!" For the past few months, you've been changing lyrics to songs and it's been quite amusing. "Rock-a-bye diapers" was probably my favorite until tonight's rendition of "Wheels on the bus".

Here's what you sang:

"The mommies on the bus go
sh sh sh
sh sh sh
sh sh sh
The mommies on the bus go
sh sh sh
all through town!

The daddies on the bus go
I love you
I love you
I love you
The daddies on the bus go
I love you
all through town!"


I think this should be the version all mommies and daddies sing with their little boys and girls.

manners

Zac: (Singing) "Excuuuuuuuse me!"

waits a moment

"Excuuuuuuuse me! Get out of the waaaaaaay!"

waits again

"Excuse me laundry basket. I need to get through!"

(Zac moves the laundry basket)

"Thank you!"

"my do it!"

I was trying to help you get dressed for school this morning. I picked out your clothes, denim overalls and an orange long-sleeve thermal.

You said, "I wear ovee-yalls to school."

Yes, Zachary. Do you like your overalls?

"I like them. I like my ovee-yalls!"

Can mommy help you put them on?

"MY do it! I need to try Zachary."

But you're putting them on backwards.

"MYYYYYY do it!"

Ok, pumpkin. You do it.

two years, one month, one week

Dear Zachary,

Boogers. Lots and lots of boogers.

Thanks for sticking your finger in your nose and running to tell me, "boogers!"

How about this: Keep your boogers to yourself and tell me when you need to use the potty.

While your boogers are, strangely enough, part of teething and NOT part of a cold, mommy's got a pretty bad cold and I'm pretty sure you're next. So, I guess we're in the market for more boogers.

Awesome.

Hey, thanks for bringing me a pillow the other day when I was lying on the floor while you played with your new train set. You were so sweet when you saw me resting. "Mommy's tired. You rest on pillow." Thanks, Pumpkin.

I love that train set, by the way. You play with it for HOURS at a time. It's by far your favorite toy.


Sorry for the short letter this week. Mommy's tired and I need to rest on my pillow.

Love,
Mommy.

"mommy's angry"

You came running into the kitchen while I was making dinner.

You said, "Mommy's angry."

"I am? Why is mommy angry?"

You answered,  "Because throwing."

"Did you throw something?"

"I throw train," you admitted. "Mommy take it away. I play something else now."


May you always be this forthcoming and honest.

two years, one month

Oh Zac...

While I was thinking about what I was going to write about this week, I considered how you might feel, years from now, reading a long letter venting about how difficult this week has been. I worried if I would be able to balance the good with the not-so-good, the praise and pride with the frustration and disappointment. The truth is, you're 2. And if I only write about all the wonderful, funny, sweet things you do, I wouldn't be honest and the whole point of this blog is for us to remember you at 2. All of you.

So, here goes...

This week reminded me of why we decided to sleep train you. From the day you were born, you were a good sleeper. Just like your mommy, it wasn't long before you were sleeping 5-7 hr stretches over night and good solid naps during the day. You never confused your days and nights. It was great. I'm not one of those mom's who looks back on the days of having a newborn and thinks, "wow, those first few weeks were awful." Quite the opposite, you were delightful and easy and only really starting crying (and making me cry with you, at times) around 6 weeks. Once we all survived that week or two, we were in a good routine until you were about 4 months old. I had been back at work for about a month and you decided that you couldn't sleep without me right there next to you. But, the smell of my milk kept you awake. After a series of nights of you waking up 8-10 times and only going back to sleep while nursing, we decided to sleep train you. Really, it was awful. We didn't do cry-it-out, but a big part of changing routines is frustrating and it's not like you were able to say "Mommy, come here, I need you" like you do now. So, you cried. A lot.

Last Thursday night, you figured out how to climb out of your crib. And you did this 4 times.  You must have planned this escape, too. You strategically threw your pillow and blanket out first (to cushion that landing, perhaps?) I have no idea how you landed on your feet as you still trip over your feet when walking. Daddy kept putting you in your crib, reminding you that it was bed time. And you kept climbing out to come find us.   "I climb out of crib. I open door." Thanks Zac, sleep as we've known it for the past 17 months is over.

So, on Friday afternoon, Mommy and Daddy, with your repeated interruption help, (which included sitting on my face, by the way), took off the side rail and converted your crib into a toddler bed. Daddy got you to sleep in less than half an hour and I was relieved. You woke up at 6:15 on Saturday morning. Nearly TWO hours earlier than you usually do on a Saturday morning. I took advantage of the early start and we spent the day on Saturday with Micki and cousin Willow.

Sunday you refused to nap. 3 hours in and out of your bed. I tried everything. You even told me to leave your room and that you would "stay in bed. not get up. keep door closed." Ha! 2 seconds later you were laughing (at me) and dancing at my feet. 3 hours of this crap and I was more tired than you and I began to wonder which one of us really needed the nap. Yes, I gave up. It was then close to 4 pm and when you said to me "mommy, I'm tired" while rubbing your eyes, my response was "well, that's too bad. it's time to get up." Each night was more and more difficult. Your teachers said you were tired and it was hard to get you up from your naps. Daddy and I looked and felt like Zombies. I thought I was never going to sleep past 5 am again (Did I mention you woke me up at 5 o'clock on Tuesday morning? NOT how I like to start the longest day of my week!)

This morning, after a better night's sleep in your crib. You told me you had poop in your diaper and that you wanted me to change you.  For months, you've been resisting the messy diaper changes (trust me, Zac, we don't enjoy them either). You've even lied and said you DIDN'T have a dirty diaper when it was obvious to our noses that you did.

You are just not ready to sleep in a Big Boy Bed. You are at a stage of such rapid development (verbal and physical) that something needs to stay consistent. Changing your bed right now, well, it's just not the right time.

I'd rather have a weaned, potty-trained, 2 year old with all his teeth and sleeps through the night in a crib, than I clingy, smelly, drippy, 2 year old complaining about new molars that "sleeps" in a toddler bed and wakes me up before the sun rises.

One day, Zac, Mommy and Daddy will take you to see the sunrise. And most likely, you'll complain that we're waking you up too early and you just want to go back to sleep.

Happy 25 months, Zac. Now get some sleep.

Love, Mommy

two years, three weeks

Dear Zac,

The following conversation took place on Saturday morning while we were out for a walk.

Me: Zachary, you need to hold Mommy or Daddy's hand while crossing the street.
You: (while attempting to pull your hand out of my grasp) It's MY hand. MY hand!
Daddy: Hold mommy's hand in the street.
You: It's MYYYYYYYY hand!!!
Me: (grabbing the edge of your sleeve) It IS your hand, but you're still going to hold mine when we cross the street.

You see, Zac. Since you're only 2, not everything that belongs to you is yours to control.

Some other examples:

When you throw your toys, yes, they are still technically "your" toys, but Mommy and Daddy will still take them away. "But it's MY toy!" doesn't really mean much at that point.

When you throw your water, yes, technically it is still "your" water, but Mommy and Daddy will still ask you to pick it up and put it gently on the table. "But it's MY water!" won't get you anywhere.

When you take out off your socks from your drawers and lie down on top of them gathering them all under you like a football player trying to maintain control of the ball after being tackled, Mommy and Daddy will still tell you to put them away. (After taking a dozen pictures and videos, of course!) "They're MY socks!" is true, but it's also your mess to clean up.

I have to say, I am quite enjoying this explosion of language recently. It seems that whenever a new tooth comes in (and you've cut 2 molars in the past 2 weeks!) that your sentences become longer and more complex. On average, your sentences range from 4-8 words and your grammar and syntax is excellent. "I need to get out of my crib", "I want to do it myself", "I want to see in the mirror", "I need to eat breakfast" and "I need to play with my toys" are frequent.

I love that we can now have conversations and your answers aren't (usually), just "yes" or "no". I love that you ask for things and people by name. You continue to bring joy and meaning to my life and I love writing these letters to you each week.

Until next time,

Mommy

two years, two weeks

Dear Zac,

"What are you doing?"

This question has become quite a joke around here. While you continue to master the English language, you still continue to need some help using the words "I" or "me" when talking about yourself. "Mommy carry you" really means "Mommy, carry ME", "you did it, Zachary!" means "I did it", "you okay?" means "I hurt myself doing something I shouldn't have been doing" and "what are you doing?" means...

"I know I shouldn't be doing this, so come FAST!"

Yesterday, while I thought you were playing quietly in your room, you were actually in the bathroom. Usually, when you play by yourself, I peek my head in every so often and make sure you're not climbing on the furniture or writing on the walls. Most parents know, silence from your child is not necessarily good! (Just go ask your Aunt Micki.)

So, when I heard you say in your cute little voice, "What are you doing?" after several minutes of quiet, I came fast. Before I made it to the other side of the living room, out you ran from the bathroom with one end of the toilet paper roll. I couldn't help but repeat, "what ARE you doing?" while doing my best to stifle my laughter.

Just a few minutes later, you were settled back with your trucks in your bedroom and I heard a crash. This time it was my turn to ask "what are you doing?". Your response? "I break it!" And you were quite pleased with yourself. So,  I came back to your room, this time a little faster. Your brand new tractor (from cousin Willow), was lying on the floor on its side and the shovel front was in your hand. Mommy was able to easily clip the shovel back on and what did you then say? "I do it again!"and you sent the tractor off the side of your bookcase only to break it again.

Thanks for the endless hours of entertainment.

Love, Mommy

two years, one week

Dear Zac,

What a busy week you had! Your Grandma, Grandpa and Bobé all flew in from California to celebrate your birthday. On Sunday, we celebrated your birthday with a party at home. Mommy made you vegan gingerbread cookies and Tata made you a chocolate cake. You happily devoured several cookies, but when it came time for the cake, you had absolutely no interest. Tata sat you in your booster and offered you your first taste of chocolate. After several attempts at persuading you to take a bite, (yes, I had to beg you to try chocolate!) I finally gave you yet another cookie.

On Monday morning, Mommy and Daddy went to our very first parent-teacher conference. You have quickly warmed the hearts of your teachers and classmates. Your teachers noted that you are both "the youngest in the class, and the oldest" - chronologically, you are the youngest by several months, but you are more verbal, more alert, and a leader among your friends. My little creature of habit, you wait until everyone is asleep and for your teachers to be in the same chair every day before you can take your nap.   If they move to a different place in the room, you won't nap. You notice everything and everyone and are so curious to learn new things. You greet your teachers and friends at the door with a "hello" and their name and a smile,  and you know where everyone is at all times. When someone is late to school, you notice and you ask where they are. When someone leaves the room, you notice and you ask where they are going.

One thing your teachers notice and love about you, and this is something that makes me so happy and proud, is that you are so assertive with your words and not with your body. You don't grab, you don't hit, and you don't push. You use words to express yourself, to express your needs and your wants. (Sometimes quite emphatically!)

I am so proud and so moved by how caring and and considerate you are becoming. You are a happy little boy and I am a very, very lucky mommy.

All my love,
Mommy

two years old

My dearest little boy, Zachary,

Happy birthday! Today you are 2 years old.

When I look at you today, on your 2nd birthday, I am so proud. You are developing quite a unique personality and sense of humor. You make yourself laugh and find the littlest things amusing. I so love getting to know you and teaching you and watching you grow.

The first 2 years of your life have gone by so fast that I decided to write you a letter every week so that years from now, when you ask, "what was I like when I was two?" Or, when you are parent many years from now and ask, "Was I this difficult wonderful?" we will be able to look back at these letters.

I do have to warn you, though. Mommy isn't always going to be happy about all the choices you make and sometimes these letters may be more of a vent than a profession of my undying love for you. What I can say, is that I will always forgive you and I will always love you. No matter what.

Happy birthday!

Love,
Mommy